and they were right.
when i was still crying on my mom's lap that time, everyone told me that my life is beautiful. "jangan sedih lagi ya!" and my tears stopped. and i had my laugh again. i believed them, and i grew up with such a shitty idea in life.
yeah, my life is beautiful but it's not when you're an adult.
i'm turning 19 this year, and i have so much thoughts running in my head. "is my choices right?" "am I doing the right thing?" etc.
its a phase of growing up, when you realize that you're alone in this wide world. everyone is going to turn their backs on you, except some people who still loves you. you cant guarantee your college friends will always like you, you cant guarantee you will get 4.00 for your GPA if you always stay up until night working on your assignments. you will be alone, even though you have your friends beside you, but you can't avoid those "lonely" feelings when you're an adult.
growing up is such a scary thing, you can't avoid it. you have to endure it until you become elders and die. we will end up die, by the way.
"i want to be an adult!," and I deeply regretted what i've said 3-5 years ago. fuck man, i dont want to grow up. this world scares me, the idea of "you-must-have a job after you have your degree" makes me scared.....
i will still growing up, but pls........can someone make it more slowly bcs im tired.......growing up is still a scary thing.....at least for me..... 😓 😓 😓 😓 😓 😓 😓